I Reckon, She Gone Did.

If you know me at all, you know that I am a CITY girl from the NORTH. I'm talking city, as I wanna throw up if I have to drive more than 5 minutes to the nearest freeway, and so very northern, that my middle name is "oh, doon'tcha know". On a daily basis, I am reminded of just how northern I am, by the people I come in contact with: strangers in passing, clients and parents I work with, even friends I have made that are true "southerners". Working as a mental health counselor for the state of SC, I come in contact with some extremely southern people (usually, pretty redneck), and by referring to these kind of southerners I mean thick accent, bad grammar and really confusing lingo. I'm not saying that all people who live in the south have bad grammar, because I have met plenty of people back home who need a lesson or two. One girl (one of my clients) I am working with right now, has the most outrageous accent, grammar and lingo, and I can't help but laugh as I go home to Justin saying, "Guess what she said today?!" During our last session, she was about to press a button, but asked me first, "Do you want me to mash it?" I was like, "Uhmm.. WHAT?!" She responds confidently, "Mash the button...? Do you want me to push it?" And I just sat there, wide-eyed. Has anyone else heard of mashing buttons??

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I wanted to take some time to compare 10 extemes that Justin and I have noticed as CRAZY since we have been living in the south. Please take note.. I am SURE there are many things the southern folk find ridiculous about Justin and me.. and that's okay! It's all about how and where we're raised. Either way, in all humor, here ya go...

1. What do you call the thing on 4 wheels that you push around a grocery store to hold your groceries in? A shopping cart, right? Nope. They call it a Buggy. Not just that, they ask if I need to "fetch myself a buggy". Oh my word. I usually just say, "No thanks, I'll take a cart."
2. I've noticed when I'm in a client's classroom for sessions, their teachers will tell them, "Ok kids, go put your books up!" Up where? Don't you mean, put them away?
3. Don't even get me started on the colorful grammar I've heard with a sweet, little twist of southern accent...When I first moved here, I transferred to Macy's as Shiseido's counter manager in the cosmetics department. A woman-person hiked over to me and gruffly demanded, "Wehh's da jerry depahht!!?" Trying to solve this puzzle, I look at the person and after asking her to repeat herself a couple times, she cussed me out and stomped away. Later, I had a local southerner translate for me, and I found she was asking me where the jew-el-ry de-part-ment was. My word. Don't even get me started on "might could", "he do", "she gone", "big ol'", or "he done did". Eugh.
4. Other common sayings I have heard often, since living in the south: "I'm fixin' to go..", "What a great idear..", "Git.", "I reckon why..", "My kin folk..", "Near 'bout" (means "almost"). If going to a friend's house they say, "She's over to..", "I will get get ill with you" or "Don't be ugly.." (means to get "angry"), "I got way-laid" (means "knocked over"), "Yon't" (means "you want").
5. 99% of drivers here are absolutely horrific. Why? They don't have to take Driver's Ed! It's a miracle when you get from A to B without being hit or almost hit by another car.
6. Ladies, what is that important item we carry on our shoulders that holds all of our important things, like our wallet, makeup, planner, gum, etc.? A purse? Nope. They call it a Pocketbook.
7. Pop vs. Soda? They call it soda or "Coke" here. Not only do I get REALLY dirty looks when I forget to translate that I want a "soda" when I really want "pop", but down in the south, people often call it all "Coke". What?! So if I'm asking for a can of pop, I'm supposed to remember to translate it to this: "I'll take a Coke..er.. a Sprite flavored Coke, please." You've got to be kidding me.
8. Justin has really noticed, since living here, that the real southern guys greet eachother by saying, "What's up, Boss Man". But, of course they never enunciate, so they say it as slurred and lazy-south as possible: "Whaap, Boh Maahh". I have no words.
9. Up north, when two cars collide, we usually call it a "car accident". In the south, they call it a "crash" or a "wreck".
10. Things I didn't know existed until I lived here: Grits, at least ONE church and a Title/Loan shop on every corner, authentic sweet tea, pre-pay only gas pumps, "church tv" available 24 hours a day

Though some things took a lot of getting used to, I have really enjoyed living in the south for many other reasons.. The beach, palm trees, the ability to wear flip flops 11 months out of the year, NO snow, and real seafood. Though I am a northerner at heart, I have to admit I have caught myself saying "ya'll" more than once. It drives me NUTS. It's so twangy, but it's so much easier than saying "you all". I am sure someone from the south could totally critique my grammar and lingo and make fun of how I say "boahht" or "ohh, yahh".. I just thought it was funny how different locations have such different slang and mannerisms! Have you had any crazy experiences with extreme northern or southerners??

Goodnight, ya'll!

xo

A few tolerable country songs..
Git-'Er-Dun Mix