Featured Story: "Sorry Ponytail-Cashier Man, I forgot to take the gas pump out of my car"

In the midst of sharing so many of my crazy "are you kidding me right now?!" moments, I have heard quite a few stories from family and friends. Pretty much every time, I catch myself saying, "Ohmigosh!! That is so blog-worthy!" or "You need to write that down!!"

I was talking to my sister (Vanessa) the other day and she told me about a recent, crazy-embarrassing experience that happened to her. After we died laughing, I was determined to share the story on my blog! Stories like these just can't go unpublished!

With that said, I'm excited to start "featuring" crazy stories I've heard, experiences that have left someone else saying, "Did that just happen?!"

The following is Vanessa's experience, in her own words..


Victim: Vanessa, sister
Location: Gas Station

After a long day at work I stopped at a gas station to fill my tank. Everything went as usual: I swiped my Rewards card, selected "unleaded" and put the nozzle into the car. While I waited for it to finish filling, I was gawking at a beautiful BMW on the other side of the gas pump. Who do you think the driver was of that fine peace of machinery? A pharmacist that I work with! We quickly struck up conversation. 

About ten minutes later, he got into his car and drove off. After watching his gorgeous little car leave, I hopped in my own car and drove off too. Not even five feet later, and CLUNK! What the--??? Did I drive over the curb? No.. My stomach dropped to the floor when I looked in my mirror and saw that I had forgotten to remove the gas nozzle, and drove off with it still in my car!! 

The clunk I heard was the sound of the gas hose breaking off -- Humiliation! Did fancy-car-pharmacy-man see me? I crept my car backwards a bit, trying to be careful not to run over the now-severed hose. Cars and "witnesses" were trying to get around the awkward scene and stared at me with weird looks on their faces, as I jumped out of my car and attempted to actually reattach the thing! 

It had broken off near the top of the pump-machine and I was way too short to reach it. I'm thinking, What do I do with this thing?! I looked at it, then tried to throw the end over the pump so it wouldn't get run over, but it came writhing right back at me and wouldn't obey! Augh!! Enough of this embarrassing scene!  A curly-headed man across the way was watching the whole thing and wouldn't stop laughing at me. There was a lady in front of me with her kids... She just stood there looking at me with a squished face that reminded me of the crutch guy in the babka-cake-Seinfeld-episode who creepily said "Sorr-ay!" to Elaine after he smashed her toes with his crutches. Ughhhh!

I quickly snatched up my receipt and I drove up to the front of the station window. I forced myself to go inside to tell ponytail-cashier-man what I did! I was so embarrassed!! Thankfully he told me that the pumps are made to break off, in case some IDIOT decides to drive off with it still in your gas tank! Oh man, I never thought I was this big of a ding-dong, but I guess I am! 

Oh my word.. To be honest, I am shocked I haven't done this yet. Unfortunately, I do have a couple "gas station stories" myself.. One day, back in High School, I had stopped for gas and didn't realize it until I made it home, but I totally forgot I had set my gas cap on my trunk. I noticed my little gas tank door was still open and the cap was nowhere to be found.. For a second I panicked and thought, Ehhh.. maybe I don't need it! I bet it's fine.. and then I began to feel paranoid and confessed my stupidity to my dad. He was like, "What?! You can't leave your tank uncovered! You need to go back to that gas station and don't come home 'til you find it!" I'm sure I could have found some sort of replacement cap at an auto store, but I think he was trying to teach me a lesson. Believe it or not - I went back and looked around for awhile.. and found it! I definitely haven't made that mistake again! 

Another crazy experience happened to me after I moved to South Carolina - Justin and I had stopped for gas and accidentally put diesel in my tank!!! AUGH! Didn't realize it until after the tank was full and the car wouldn't start. Unfortunately, it was a Sunday evening and we were several miles out of town, which became a huuuge dilemma. We had to call around to find someone who would actually drive out to where we were - and the fact that it was a Sunday and after business hours, we had a pretty tough time. Finally we found a guy who would siphon it all out for a hefty price. In my defense, why can't all the diesel pumps be a different size to prevent that from happening?? It was so unclearly marked, but definitely an "are you kidding me right now?!" moment that cost us more than just a tank of gas. Haven't made that mistake again either! Good grief.

xo

P.S. If you have ANY "Are you kidding me right now??" or "Did that just happen?!" moments, I'd love to feature the story on my blog! I already have a couple more crazy stories that others have shared with me, I'm so excited! :) 

[Photo - Source]

Happy Mother's Day, Mommacita!

In celebration of Mother's Day, I wanted to honor my little momma. My mom is one of my bestest friends and probably the sweetest person you will ever meet. She's 4'11" and thanks to my younger brother, we've all started giving her the nickname "hamp" or "hampster" because she's so small, cute and well.. sometimes just acts like a hampster! Haha! It makes me laugh even just trying to explain it, because obviously no one else will understand the root of the humor in it, but I don't care!

I love my mom for so many reasons. She's hilarious, she's patient, she's humble, she puts everyone else first.. She's an amazing little cook who loves to walk around the kitchen on her tippy-toes.. she has always made each and every birthday beyond special with themed parties and celebrations.. she has created fun little traditions that we look forward to every holiday.. the list goes on and on and on. I can't even count how many times we've wet our pants laughing, or stayed up watching movies and being silly.

I'll never forget when we were young, she worked nights (getting home around midnight) and we would wait up for her over the summer -- One time, she promised me that we would go to Best Buy at midnight when Titanic was first released on VHS (I was obsessed with Titanic!). We planned to go as soon as she got home, so we could wait in line for the 2-tape 'special edition' copy and hopefully receive a calendar and a rinkydink collector's pin for being one of the first 100 people.

After working all night, she came home, we jumped in the car and rushed there. We waited in line forever and I actually made it in time to get the special free gifts! The moment was unreal. By the time we got home, it was probably 1:30am.. She was still willing to pull and all-nighter with me to enjoy my new excitement. I tore open the videos and stuck one in, to find out that I had grabbed a "widescreen" edition on accident. Aughh the devastation and tears!! I didn't want to gaze at Leo with the stupid black bars on the top and bottom of the screen! I wanted the fullscreen experience!! Instead of telling me we could go back later and try to exchange it, my mom was understanding enough to take me back to Best Buy that night, so I could whimperingly explain my misfortune to the return guy (who could care less). I finally made sure I had chosen the correct tapes and we headed back home for ice cream and Leonardo, despite how late it was. I will never forget that.

There are literally thousands of crazy memories I have shared with my mom, whether prying open the drive-thru windows when the cashier was nowhere to be found, or the times she would spend a little extra on a shirt I had to have if I 'promised not to tell Dad'. Times we would sing at the top of our lungs in the car and call into the oldies radio station to request songs.. garage sales and drive-in movies.. craft shows and school-supply shopping.. camping and driving me to my piano lessons.. scrapbooking and watching home videos.. I love my mom.

I feel even double-blessed to have an amazing mother-in-law as well! Anita reminds me of my mom in a lot of ways.. I sure love her too!

Bonfire & S'mores in the backyard

Getting the giggles

Visiting Charleston

Uncontrollable laughing at the library

At the Drive-In

xo

Crazy Pet People & the Woman Who Smelled Like Hair and Ketchup

People can sure be funny about their pets. I am the first to admit that I love putting clothes on Romeo and Coco and having little photo shoots of them looking at me like little stuffed animals.. I wouldn't dress them if they hated it though (hence, this & this). I'm glad they don't seem to mind it, because they are so stinkin' cute with little outfits and dresses and sweaters and coats on. Gah!

I've been meaning to bring our little Coco Chanel in to the Vet for a physical and to make sure she was caught up on her shots, plus Rome has been having random little "throw-ups" and I haven't had any clue why. Unfortunately, the day I had scheduled to take them in, Justin had to work late, so I had to brave it on my own. Two little dogs in their carriers, treats, leashes, poo bags, papers and records, plus my purse and everything, it's quite the challenge on my own. I hauled them into the clinic, signed in and took a seat.

It's funny how people seriously do resemble their pets. I'm not saying that I have the head of a Yorkie, but you know what I mean??

For example.

A woman sitting across from me had a scrappy-looking mystery dog and sported some frizzy/greasy hair and a holey t-shirt. She seemed nice and was talkative, asking me what breed Romeo and Coco were and did a little baby-talking to them through their carry-ons.

An elderly, orange-haired woman sat a seat away from me with saggy nylons and a Cocker Spaniel mix. I'm pretty sure she was falling asleep in her chair - probably past her nap time.

A nervous man with a comb-over and tennis shoes - that looked like they were tied so tight that his circulation had to be cut off - had a little French Bulldog with a cone around it's head. The man kept making little noises and cleared his throat about 100 times, making no effort to interact (thank goodness!).

I sat there playing Freecell on my phone when the next woman walked in.

I was immediately slammed in the face with the smell of dirty hair and ketchup. Whooahh. The woman looked exactly like that mom with 19 children, Michelle Duggar. She had tons of hair. And she was wearing a bonnet hat.

The Duggar Family when there were only 16 of them..

Of alll the seats to choose from, of course Ketchup Cat Lady chooses to park herself - and her pet kennel  - in a seat directly next to mine. Ketchup Duggar! Why not enjoy a little space of your own and sit every-other? Aside from the stench protruding from her, why force me to share my armrest, when there were 20 other empty chairs? Isn't that just ettiquette? Hmph. It didn't end there. She started making these little high squeak sounds and high-pitched "hmmmm" and "ohhhhh" sounds. At first I looked around to see if anyone else was hearing what I was hearing. Was this lady joking?? 

I watched out of the corner of my eye as Ketchup Duggar proceeded to have a "conversation" with whatever was inside of the kennel she had balancing on her lap. She continued to talk to it as if it was talking back to her, responding with "awww.. I know honeyyy! I know.. It's OK.. It's OK.." I tried to look a little closer to  identify exactly what Stinky was talking to, and I saw it. It was a monstrosity of a cat.. at least 25 pounds. What the heck?! I tried to shift myself to the other side of my chair, to keep myself from gagging on the smell. 

The receptionist called Ketchup Duggar to the counter for some questions, and of course she had to bring her mammoth cat with her. She shuffled up to the counter - bonnet included - and as the receptionist asked her a couple questions, Duggs began to pace. PACE! Why was she pacing? And not just a step or two. She took about 25 steps in one direction and headed back and forth for a good 1-2 minutes, nonstop. I couldn't stop watching, waiting for her Reebok's to fail her, as she was severely pigeon-toed and ridiculously uncoordinated. 

As the pacing continued, I seriously couldn't stop watching. All of a sudden.. before my very eyes, Stinky Head trips on her own feet and practically biffed it right there on the floor. I think I heard myself gasp as I watched her wobbling out of control or maybe I was overwhelmed with embarrassment for her and her unfortunate ensemble. Why, lady?? After nearly wiping out, she paced one more time for good measure, as if her near-death experience was all a part of her master plan. 

Finally my name was called and Stinky Dugg's just stood and watched as I hauled my pups to the back. She gave one last wave (oh yes, she waved.) and an, "Awww buh-byyee!!" to Romeo before we were out of her sight. If Romeo was capable of dropping his jaw, that probably would have been the time. 

A hefty vet bill and an hour later, we were on our way. Ohh, until next time. 

xo

A Colorful Easter Lunch Party

Since we've lived in SC, we have celebrated most holidays with Justin's brothers (and Caleb's gf, Melissa). This year, I really wanted to make Easter lunch fun and special, after finding inspiration from a post at Hostess with the Mostess. I wanted to try something new.. bright colors, mixed patters and as usual, I was a little ribbon-happy! I thought it turned out pretty cute. A bummer from the day: Justin was really not feeling well and couldn't even enjoy it with us. I originally planned to use 2 tables, thinking we would need the extra room with his bros, Melissa and possibly 2 more. There ended up only being 4 of us after Justin and 2 others couldn't join us, bringing it down to 4. With that said, the table looked kind of funny for just 4 people, but oh well. 

I found some adorable green damask fabric on clearance at Hobby Lobby and used it for a fabric-flag garland. I also used my 1.5" scalloped punch to make the little button garland for some more color. 

 

I fell in love with this white pom trim.. It totally reminded me of bunny tails!

I found an amazing set of amber goblets at a thrift store, which totally added to my pink/red/yellow/orange/aqua/green/gold decor (whew!). I incorporated the same moss balls (plus some loose moss) that my friend Jody and I made for our friend's Woodland Forest baby shower back in October.

Found these adorable little bumblebees at Hobby Lobby for 1$!

Believe it or not, but I've had this faux "grass planter" since college. It always kind of made me laugh when I looked at it (I think I found it at Target for $3.00?) but it looks pretty cute in our green/black guest room. I almost didn't use it, because the base of it is actually stainless steel. I had been covering all of my glass vases and candle holders with paper/fabric when CLICK - why not cover the base of it with paper too? I thought it totally added to the table!

{Buffet table before the food was set out!}

Mini chocolate cupcakes --

S'mores-on-a-Stick -- All I did was dip marshmallows in chocolate (almond bark) and rolled them in graham cracker crumbs.. Uhh.. YUMSKI!

Feeling extra inspired by Martha Stewart, I decided to make some full-size cupcakes with flowers and "dirt". I layered some corresponding paper (to match the table) and my used good ol' 1.5" punch for the "flowers". I used mini yellow flower brads to secure them and used hot glue to attach the lolli sticks. I freehanded some leaves out of green paper and covered the chocolate frosting in crushed Oreo cookies. Voila!

xo

Change is Gonna Come..

To be perfectly honest, I'm already getting a little emotional as I type this. I don't even know how to type this.

It's crazy to think that I have lived here in Greenville for over 4 years now (Justin, over 5). I can't believe how many memories and experiences we've been a part of.. new friends.. getting married.. fun travels.. parties.. friends having babies.. the list goes on. Justin and I have considered moving back to the Midwest - specifically Minnesota - for a really long time now, but actually doing it has started to become more of a reality to us. It makes my stomach drop just thinking about leaving Greenville, our friends, Justin's brothers (& more family in VA) and our fantastic church. We haven't really shared this with many people, since nothing has been "set in stone".

Truth is, we're ready to see what God has for us next. We would really love to actually settle down. We'd love a family of our own, and we absolutely can't imagine life without our parents and families. I think aside from leaving the amazing friends we have here, the hardest part for me has been realizing extreme differences in the weather. I hate the cold. It felt so good to leave the cold. How could I possibly go back and survive? Justin keeps saying to me, "Babe. What's more important.. Family or weather??" Ha.

We have been weighing pro's and con's of everything.. including the timing and opportunities that we've been given. It's been so encouraging to feel support from those who already know, despite how difficult it is to leave our lives here. It's all been happening so quick, but it's happening and I have to keep trusting that God has a plan. So far, things have been working out, timing-wise, and plans have begun. I'm scared and excited at the same time.

Like I said, it's been really difficult for me to talk about moving, because I get so stinkin' emotional. We wish we could sit down and share this with each of our friends who have been a special part of our lives, but obviously it's hard. Not like everyone I know reads this little blog either, but it at least feels good to put it out there (ha.).

So.. I'm sad. But, a part of me is excited too. That's all for now.


xo

[Photo - weheartit]