Sunday, May 23, 2010

Aging Doesn't Scare Me

I have never been one to hate my birthday because I'm getting older. Yeah, I miss things about when I was little.. When I was in high school.. When I was in college.. But aging doesn't really bother me. I wouldn't say it's a "tough subject" for me. I've met others around my age (give or take) that are extra sensitive about another year tacked on - which is understandable. Especially working in the cosmetic business with all kinds of skincare (which I use as well) and constant goals to prevent and restore and fix and repair.. Most people really hate aging. Of course I want to prevent wrinkles, etc., but I don't know why turning another year older never really phased me. I guess I see each year as what it is - What can I do about it? Nothing.. So might as well make the most of being 26, and 27 and 28.. If anything, I find it more fascinating than scary. How in the world did I become 26 years old, anyway? I swear I just turned 8 and lived it up at my Crazy-Eight's dress up party. Time flies.

I wanted to blog about this, because I got an e-mail FW from my Mom that I thought was pretty cool. I find myself really relating to it, but some things I haven't quite experienced. I don't even really feel old.. Just wanted to share.

I would never trade my amazing friends, my wonderful life, or my loving family for less gray hair or a flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend.. I don't chide myself for eating that extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante garde on my patio. I am entitled to a treat, to be messy, to be extravagant.

I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.

Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM or sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 & 70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love ... I will. I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old.

I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.

Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.

I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver. As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.

So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I feel like it).

What I'm listening to:


1 comment:

  1. I'm glad you liked my most recent blog!
    haha :)
    Just for you, love, just for you ;)


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